Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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