You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
