from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
