have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
