dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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