the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I AM VODKA MAN
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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