We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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