So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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