I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
