If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
