she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
His nipple licking is glorious
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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