My first STD was from a foam party
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
