Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize