i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
