I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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