Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
