a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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