I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Randomize
