just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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