When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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