I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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