You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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