Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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