I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
