Having a random hookup so left but love u
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
