some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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