My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
