grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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