Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
