So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
