I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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