she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
