im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize