I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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