And the cops told us we were all naked.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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