A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
