kristin has been a bad kristin
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I need to align my fucking chakras
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
