i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
