one might say we're banned from that church
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
