i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
