WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
