the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
