My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
