i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
