he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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