well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
