Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
