yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize