I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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