You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
