And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
