Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize