sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
