i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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