so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
