Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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