Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize