just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
