you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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