So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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