is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
