im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
